help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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