You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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