Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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