Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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