Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She's JV to your varsity
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize