Whod you bang
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
