He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize