I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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