i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
