You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish they made helmets for livers.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
