OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
