ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
