garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
