The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
