We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
