We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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