Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it's like iHOP with fire
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
