Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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