Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize