And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we're making bets on your personal life
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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