I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Acid is not a monday night drug
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
