Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
