i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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