He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
they're like a gay fantastic four
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
