i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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