"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
