using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
