new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
