He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
