Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
