I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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