I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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