Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
this hospital has no fireball
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
