i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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