He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
