in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
