Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We have started to decorate penises.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
