his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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