STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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