Is it because I queefed?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
