PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
