Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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