ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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