Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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