billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just want to make out with him forever
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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