Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
