one two three fourrrrnication!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
