That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize