I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
