still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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