we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
