She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
