a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
