the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
