By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
