and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
birth control should be required to get into college
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
