I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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