I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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