Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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